


Catholicism is a Hell of a Drug

by plisetskees



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Roman Catholicism, both families are shitty to their kids okay, possibly incorrect facts on Catholicism because im not catholic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2340095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plisetskees/pseuds/plisetskees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality, his overbearing family, and his love for Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catholicism is a Hell of a Drug

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is my first spn fic despite me being a spn fan for years
> 
> if it sounds like an essay blame my lit and my gov teachers bc i've been in essay boot camp
> 
> let's do this shit

Castiel Novak was Lawrence High's token rich Catholic kid. His dad, Jimmy, made a lot of money doing some ambiguous business thing, and Castiel wasn't even sure that was. His mother stayed at home, looking after Castiel's stupidly high number of siblings. Those kids were stereotypes, too.

Michael, the oldest, was the one following in his father's footsteps. A track record cleaner than Castiel's (which was saying something, since Castiel never got in trouble,) 5.0 GPA, dating a beautiful, Catholic woman, likely to settle down and do whatever Jimmy did.

Then there was Gabriel. Gabriel was the trouble-maker, rebellious teen. He went to school with Castiel, but Castiel never saw much of him. He heard quite a bit about his younger brother, though. Enough to know that Gabriel spent a lot of time in detention, and probably didn't spend his weekends studying like he claimed he did.

Rachel was the youngest. She was adopted a few years after Gabriel was born, and was an 8th grader now. She was the only girl, and Castiel appreciated the bit of diversity she gave the house. (She was Catholic, of course. Castiel's mother had made sure of that when she was quite young. Castiel doubted Rachel could even remember which country she was adopted from, and she surely knew nothing of her culture. Castiel thought this was sad, but he appreciated the breath of fresh air she gave him.)

Castiel thought he was the most average person in his family, and he liked it that way. His mother rarely suspected him of anything, which meant he got away with a fair amount of rebellion. Considering his plans that night, he was quite glad he had that degree of freedom.

-

Castiel was a pro at sneaking out of his house. He knew exactly how to step without setting off the alarm, exactly how to get off the roof without getting hurt, how to keep the noise down. He was into the yard, getting into his friend Sam's car within 2 minutes. 

"I still have no idea why you have to sneak out like that. You're 18, and we're just hanging out." Sam laughed and put his car in gear, getting out of the Novak driveway before they got busted.

"You guys are pretty middle class. Surely my parents are worried about me catching the poor," Castiel mocked a sophisticated tone.

Sam gave a short laugh before driving on.

Once they had gotten to Sam's, Castiel noticed a strange car parked in the driveway, but didn't say anything. He assumed it was one of John's. He got out with Sam and went inside, ready to spend his night playing video games and watching R-rated movies and all the other things his parents forbade him from doing in their home.

Except, once they were inside, Castiel was distracted from his goal by the most peculiar human being he had ever seen. He was tall, dark and handsome in all the right ways. He had the most gorgeous green eyes, and was muscled and all around beautiful. 

Castiel didn't even register who the person was until Sam introduced them. "Dean, this is Castiel. He's my friend from school. Castiel, this is my brother, Dean." Sam said, and Dean extended his hand. Castiel shook it after the slightest hesitation. 

"Nice to meet you, Cas. Can I call you Cas?" Dean asked, and Castiel had the thought, 'You could call me whatever you want,' before simply nodding his head.

"Yeah, that's fine." Castiel said, letting go of Dean's hand. 

"Well, a friend of Sammy's is a friend of mine." Dean smiled at Castiel before turning to Sam. "But, uh. Sammy, you and Cas better get up to your room. Dad's gonna be home soon, and he isn't very happy with me. You know I don't like you around when the shit hits the fan."

"Got it, Dean." Sam made his way upstairs, and Castiel followed. He had never seen John Winchester angry, but he didn't really want to. 

Once they were upstairs, and safely out of earshot of Dean, Sam started to talk. "Dad's pissed as hell at Dean. He was going to college and today he just showed up out of the blue saying he had dropped out and he was coming home to help Dad at his mechanic shop." Sam said, and Castiel nodded.

A few hours later, around 2, Dean showed up in Sam's room. "Dad says Cas has to leave. Wants to have a big talk with the two of us about our futures." Dean said, rolling his eyes. 

Sam groaned and stood up. "I'll take you home, Castiel." He said while stretching. He grabbed his car keys off his night stand and started to walk out the door before Dean stopped him.

"Dad told me to take him. You aren't allowed to drive after midnight." Dean said.

"But Dad lets me drive Castiel home all the time." Sam refuted.

"Well, he isn't letting you this time. He's in a mood. Just stay here and wait for me to get back. Don't talk to him until I'm home, you know how he is." Dean said sternly, and Sam nodded. Dean lead Castiel down the stairs to the unfamiliar car he had seen when Sam first brought him over.

"Gorgeous, ain't she? I don't know why Dad ever gave her up." Dean commented as he got into the driver's side. Castiel nodded and got into the front seat.

Dean pulled out of the driveway drove on. "So where do you live?" He asked after the short, silent drive out of their neighborhood. 

"Heavenly Acres. The, uh, rich neighborhood." Castiel said sheepishly. 

"Don't sound so ashamed. I'd love to live in a bourgeois place like that." Dean said and smiled. Castiel smiled back, and nodded. 

"I hope you don't mind, I need some gas." Dean asked while pulling into a Shell station. "It's fine," Castiel said, and once Dean was out of the car Castiel let out a sigh of relief. Castiel didn't know what it was about Dean that made him feel like he couldn't breathe. Dean made him feel intimidated- no that wasn't the right word. Castiel didn't even know how describe what Dean made him feel.

Once the two were back on their way to Castiel's house, things were less awkward. Dean made small talk, and the two got to know each other. When Castiel was back at his home, he felt much less intimidated by Dean. 

"Next time you want to sneak out, get me to get you. Sammy isn't allowed to drive at night, and he knows it." Dean said as he pulled into the driveway. 

"Got it." Castiel replied.

"Here, give me your phone and I'll put my number in. Should make that a little easier." Dean said with that same smile, and Castiel felt like he couldn't breathe again. Still, he handed his phone over to Dean and let him enter his phone number.

"Here you go. See ya later, Cas." Dean said before leaving the driveway. Castiel smiled when Dean left, and still had the feeling of breathlessness. 

As Castiel walked up the driveway to the place where he climbed to his room, he was surprised by a voice from the side of the house.

"Castiel!" It called, and Castiel feared he was caught before he realized who was calling. 

"Gabriel?" Castiel asked quietly. He was about to ask again before his younger brother emerged from where he hid. Gabriel looked guilty ans upset at the same time.

"Gabriel, why are you outside?" Castiel asked, and Gabriel shrugged.

"I could ask the same of you, you know." Gabriel responded, and Castiel shook his head. 

"I won't tell if you don't. Just, get inside, Gabriel." Castiel sighed, starting his ascent up the side of the porch.

"I've been trying! The security system locked the door behind me." Gabriel complained, and Castiel groaned.

"You're so very young and stupid, Gabriel. Follow me." Castiel continued to climb up the porch, and Gabriel followed. Once they were at the top, Castiel spoke very softly to his brother. "Now, step exactly where I do. You could set off the alarm if you don't, or wake up Mom and Dad. Then we'd both be fucked. Okay?" Gabriel nodded and Castiel walked carefully to his open window.

Luckily, Gabriel followed correctly, and they both made it into Castiel's room with no problem. "Next time you sneak out, please ask for my help first." Castiel said, pulling off his shoes and jacket.

"Will do, dear brother. Who knew you were so sneaky?" Gabriel asked. 

"No one. I'd prefer to keep it that way." Castiel said.

Gabriel lay down on Castiel's bed. "I don't know why you don't just leave. Dad obviously doesn't care about us, and Mom just smothers us. I'm leaving when I turn 18." The younger boy put his arms behind his head and sighed. 

"Mom just wants us to go to Heaven. She's misguided, but the intentions are good." Castiel sat beside his brother on his bed. He didn't want to have this conversation with his brother right then.

"Well, I'm going to purgatory at best. And the way you were looking at that boy in the car, I bet you're no better. So why should we care?" Gabriel asked angrily. Castiel gasped when he realized what his brother was implying, and pushed his brother away.

"Leave, Gabriel. Before I tell Mom you snuck out." Castiel said, glaring in his brother's direction. 

"What, a man can't make one gay joke? You're no fun, Cas." Gabriel emphasized Castiel's nickname, and Castiel knew he had heard Dean say it.

"Leave!" Castiel said, louder this time, and Gabriel listened. He left Castiel's room with his hands thrown up in mock surrender. Castiel then lay back in his own bed, thinking about what Gabriel had said and what those feelings he felt around Dean meant.

Castiel made it a point to get up and go to mass the next morning, and confessed for the first time in a very long time.

 


End file.
